Marriage, Kids & Aspirations

“Beta ji, you are married now, wear something more traditional like suits and sarees.” Nodding with a dissented face, I accelerated towards the staircase. “A 7-inch gap at waist, between her blouse and saree? Hats off to you Auntyji”, I thought. How can the culture change drastically if I replace this with a short top and a pair of jeans?

The fatigue was taking a toll on me. After a hectic day at work and 3 hours of travel, all I wanted was my bed, my blanket and some peaceful time. I rushed towards the doorbell but (sigh) it seemed God wanted me to absorb some more. Here comes some more gyan from the pious guru (our chatter box neighbor), Mrs. Gupta! “Hello Beta ji, how are you? I was waiting to meet you. You look so pale. Must be a lot of work at office. I was talking to your family. Nowadays it is so difficult to plan a baby with this stressful life. But betaji, I must tell you, it is already 2 years since your marriage, slow down your career and focus on family.” Pheww….

Why can’t people leave the decision making to the couple? We live in a different era. There are people who happily settle down after marriage, but also there are people who have other ambitions and other priorities.

I am 27 and married. Though I don’t have any problem managing the domestic responsibilities (which is equally shared with my husband), I love my job too. I want to grow and excel in my career. I am independent and capable of making my own decisions. I am profound with current affairs. While having lunch or tea at office, I like to throw some serious discussion topics to my colleagues (politics, economics, people empowerment, business..) rather than circling the conversation on who’s who and  did what to whom. I politely refuse when men offer me their seats in bus and metro. I manage the finances. I believe there is far more a woman can do than running errands and raising kids.

Gender Equality, Women Empowerment – all these terms will remain as airy fillers unless the seeds of change are sown in the minds of people. I look forward to see the changed world where women independently make decisions and have equal rights in community, society and workplaces.

How to get there? Be the change you want to see- very rightly said. Well… first, break all the rules. Change yourself. Draw a sheath around yourself that protects you from all the primitive thoughts. Feel happy, feel confident and feel alive. Have a passion? Chase it.

At home: Education starts at home. Teach your kids/family how the women should be treated. It is not only your responsibility to look after the family. Managing a house brings equal responsibility on a couple’s shoulders. Make your daughters independent. Educate your sons on what they should expect in their life partner. Family who respect women at home, respect women outside as well.

At work: Companies are striving hard to make their culture women friendly. Therefore, let us also make the best use of this opportunity and position us as responsible employees who are equally capable as men. Work hard. Work smart. Figure out the best way you can manage house and reduce the no. of “work from home” days or unnecessary leaves. Take challenges, learn and take projects that involves learning and growth. The onus is equally upon us to come out of the stereotype “I am a woman” shell and demonstrate leadership.

You got a dream? You got to protect it. – The Pursuit of happyness

Yes, I dream to see women more independent and confident. I am game for this change. Are you?