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I Should Have Told Mom, I Should Have Been With Her....



So far till all her life Betsy was busy chasing, which she thought were her dreams, her passion, and a meaning to the life. This small town girl got everything she wanted- a stellar career, a home in the U.S., an exercise routine, a fit body, a loving husband, and a handsome salary. But, all this that so far looked "the world" to her suddenly felt very pointless.

The immortal guilt of not being with her parents has exploded her heart a thousand times. She sank into the wave of self-abomination for not being with her parents in their sickness. The realization that she selected this life all by herself depressed her further.

Eagerly waiting to go outside her hometown after schooling, now Betsy wants to fly back to the school days where she lived a carefree life and looked up to her parents as some superheroes who can do anything in the world.

She flew back to the time of this unconditional love tale. She didn’t understand the pain and struggle of her parents until she got married. Now she knows the responsibilities and hardships required to bind the family together. The sacrifices her parents have made can never be compensated with anything. She regrets she never thanked her Mom for having sleepless nights and looking after her in the sickness. Despite being exhausted after finishing all the household chores, her mom tried to engage herself in reading a book just to accompany Betsy for late night study during her exams. Many times she canceled the visit to her parents because of Betsy's study. 

Marriage teaches you a lot of lessons. With every passing year of her marriage, the respect for her mom has multiplied. Now she wants to thank her mom for everything. She wants to take care of her parents and be with them when they are not well. She wants to cook their favorite dishes and live with them for months and years like she stayed earlier. But, none of this seems feasible now. Living miles away in the U.S., Betsy is completely engrossed in the vicious cycle of family and job.
Last night she could sense the pain in her mother's voice and the desperation she wants to see her. Betsy tossed and turned full night thinking about her mother's operation. She recalled her Vidaai time when Betsy's mom cried her eyes out and sobbingly told her not to forget her mom and how much she loves her. 

 Indeed, all her memories were as fresh as Betsy is living them - her voice, laugh, warmth, anger, care, concern, wholehearted love, the jingling of her anklets, and the aroma of her cuisines.

But, now there are only memories.

"Betsy, Betsy, are you there?” her dad, who was still on the phone, asked in a worried tone. "We have lost her but she will always live in our hearts", he said in a shaky voice, barely covering the sob that was about to break out. He kept his voice low and spoke slowly to relay a sense of steadiness, like the calm before a storm of grief.

She is no More. She is no more.


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